To my recollection.. there was no real reason behind this meltdown. There just comes a time each night (and occasionally during the day or at a nice restaurant) when our content, thoughtful, quiet son who can keep himself busy for an hour playing with two megablox turns into this raging red-headed monster who wings hotwheels cars at the cats, bites his moms, and generally has his "i'm so pissed off you're lucky i don't know any of those words that you guys say under your breath when the cats are bad".

This first picture shows the internal build-up.. he's thinking about what he's upset about. Given that the cat is right there.. THAT may have something to do with it.. but chances are it's just a random "i'm mad" moment.

 

He finally lets it go.. the situation escalates exponentially as I take pictures instead of going to soothe him (while ducking from little metal devices of torture - hotwheels cars).

 

I once threatened to throw my mother into a trashcan. It was the worst thing I could think of at the time. I imagine that my face looked a bit like this:

 

Ok kids...

I know of several people who regularly check my blog for updates on my family. So why is it that NO ONE has picked up on (or has commented on) my stupid typo. I'm going to leave it as-is for a day before I fix it. In the intro-blurb at the top of the page.. it says that our lives changed on "December 19, 2007".. well.. i'm sure it did.. but it wasn't due to Ben's birth. He was born in 2006. Come on people!! I'm loopy.. I need help with these types of things sometimes...

While I was out partying like it was 1999 with my sister on Friday night.. Shiela was home enjoying some quiet time with our boy. His new "thing" is to mimic us and to pretend. Here is a video clip that shiel took on her cell phone and sent to me while I was at the Bon Jovi concert. It's ben using a hotwheels car as a phone. The awesomely funny part of this is that he TOTALLY looks like me while I'm talking to my mother on the phone... check the laughs.. the head bobs.. the eyes rolling and looking up (hi mom).. Both shiela and I spend very little time on the phone aside from texting beck and talking to our moms... I have to start watching myself around this little one!

Ok.. first off.. I'm thankful for YouTube and all of the people that post clips from idol performances when they aren't supposed to. I'm sure iTunes will have that stopped by the end of the season and see that some clips have already been pulled.. but that didn't stop me from being able to see what I missed last night when we got home at 8:20!!!

Ok.. first of all.. David Archuleta is still my favorite.. he just is. There's something about this kid and while I wasn't particularly overjoyed with his performance last night.. it was still great. Here is a picture of the cutie.



Now.. I have to say that without a question in my mind.. Jason Castro was the best of the night. I've liked him from the start.. I think his personality is honestly humble and he's got a great voice. I'm glad he stepped away from his guitar this week to prove that he's really got what it takes. He sang Hallelujah, which was covered by Jeff Buckley in the early 90's (Jeff Buckley, btw, died of a freak drowning accident when he went swimming in the Mississippi River in 97 fully clothed.. it supposedly wasn't suicide.. but sheesh.. what a way to go.. at least plane crashes are more consistent with the demise of other folk/rock legends.) Anyway.. here is a clip.. at least until YouTube pulls it from their site:



Ok.. now while I can't stand David Cook.. I have to say that he was my #2 man last night. I just wish he'd buzz his hair.. it's such a dorky look to have it all pulled into his face like that.. but maybe I'm just getting old. I am, remember, going to a Bon Jovi (and Chris Daughtry!) concert on Friday... and I'd take Jon Bon in his spandex and long floofy hair any day over the kids these days.. *grin* Anyway.. back to David Cook. He did Hello by Lionel Richie and I think really pulled it off and I agreed with the judges that it would be a hit if it were on the radio right now. I also like his guitar.. it's hard to hate a guy with a les paul.

After a 2.5 hour nap, Ben was acting like himself. For his afternoon snack, I gave him some green beans and a few slices of avocado. I've had hints dropped from daycare that he covets the avocados that his friends maddie and riley have sometimes.



a few slices soon turned into an ENTIRE avocado. I didn't help.. I don't like avocado plain... he just chowed! Soon we were left with just the shell and the seed.



It took a while, but Ben finally realized that it was all gone.. he signed "more" for quite a while (between eating green beans) while also pointing at the empty avocado shells.



Needless to say.. we made a mess.. but I'd take a mushed up avocado face with bright blue eyes over tired eyes anyday!

Today was a long day. It's now 9pm and Ben is sound asleep and Shiela and I are close behind (but not after watching a cheesy horror movie). Today Ben had his EEG at Children's Hospital in Boston. This was the follow-up to the seizure he had on Feb 4 and the day we spent at Children's after that. They wanted to give his brain a chance to recoup so they could measure his normal brain waves. Soooo... that was today.

It was a sleep deprived EEG, which meant that we had to wake him up ultra-early this morning and keep him awake until we got to the hospital and they got him all rigged up to the monitors.

I'll detail things out later, but for now I just wanted to say that he was a trooper and while he was terrified, he didn't put up much of a battle for the two wonderful techs that were running the test. It was hard hearing him and seeing him be so upset and not be able to pick him up, but he definitely was calmer to have us both right up close to him.

We should hear back from his neurologist after they receive the test report.. we hope to talk with them tomorrow. There was a lot more to the story, but I just wanted to let the friends and family that check up on us through here to have the initial update. I'll post more after we hear from the doctors tomorrow.

This is still a PERFECTLY good T-Shirt.



One would think.. I live in Boston.. I can pick up another Boston Hard Rock T anytime.. but it's not the same. This one is "broken in". It's not like a wear it in public or anything and it covers all my important parts.

Since I've lived in Boston for about 8 years.. I could tell you that the shirt was bought during that time. It would be a lie though -- I actually bought it when I was in High School during a Jazz Band trip to Berklee... so that would be somewhere between 1988 and 1992. Maybe it's time for a lunch at the Hard Rock...

OMG.. Ty just ate a goldfish cracker that Ben dropped on the floor (as you can see.. I'm blogging while Ben is sleeping and Shiela is grocery shopping.. what I SHOULD be doing is picking up the goldfish crackers on the floor.. yeah.. why do that when he'll just eat them later.. :)

In other news.. the stupid cat just woke the baby up... URGH! So much for a 2 hour nap...

Last night, the three of us hit the mall with our tax return in our pocket. Actually.. we were very controlled. We picked up a backpack carrier for both of us to be able to carry Ben as the weather gets warmer. I was so proud of Shiela.. when she moved here she would have pushed me to go to Target to get whatever the $39.99 backpack carrier was. Instead, we ended up at Wild Child, which is a yuppy clothing children's store in Arlington and while Ben and I stayed in the car, Shiela was supposed to go in and get the carrier that was one step above the one we had tried on a few weeks ago. She came out with a grin and said that I'd be so proud.. she got the one that was TWO steps above.. she said it was incredibly comfortable and very adjustable, so we'd both be able to use it and it would grow with Ben (although if he keeps growing the way he is.. soon he'll be carrying us.)

Soooo... after this endeavor, we went to Brigham's for dinner and then browsed the Burlington Mall for a while. We wound up at Stride Rite at some point. Ben has been wearing his Robeez for as long as he has been in "shoes" (the Robeez have a soft leather sole). Since he's just starting to walk, we figured it was time to transfer from the "pre-walker" shoes to a pair of the ultra-flexible sole "just-walking" shoes. Given that the kid has my feet.. we can't buy shoes at places like Target or Sears.. nope.. gotta go for the stores that sell the extra WIDE...

He was a trooper.. he stood on the little foot measurer do-hickey and it turns out that his right foot is a size 5WW and his left foot is a size 6WW... just like Mommy. My left foot has always been at least a half size larger than my right.



Benjaraptor is sleeping right now.. so I'll have to get a pic of him wearing his shoes later on.. but for now.. here's a comparison to my shoes... too funny.. My guess is that someday the ratio of shoe sizes will be reversed.

Here is a picture of Ben walking into the salon.. it's not like we go there that often, but they all know us and he makes himself right at home.



See?



The little guy wasn't so sure what we were doing when we sat in the chair in front of the big mirror and was less sure when Cassie put a cape around his neck. We hadn't gotten the stamp of approval on this activity yet -- you can tell by the look on his face!



To make the experience stranger, Cassie then wet Ben's hair down using a spray bottle. Unlike my mother, we only use these for getting the cats to stop scratching the furniture.. the water was warm through.. and it felt sorta good. Ben wasn't afraid of the water.. but he was keeping a close eye on Cassie.



Once the haircut started, Ben was SUCH a good boy. Cassie was able to trim his hair and aside from him occasionally trying to turn around to watch her and one time when she almost snipped her finger instead of his hair.. it was a fairly painless experience!



We brought a ziplock baggie and probably managed to save about 80% of his beautiful red curls that were snipped. We were worried that his curl would go away, but he's got so much wave still and his hair is just as bright short as it was when it was longer.



Once we were finished, Benjamin was finally able to talk to Cassie and even got to brush her hair.



Here is a pic of Ben and Mommy.. too bad we were standing in front of the window.. you can't really get a good view of his hair. My grey hair stands out nice and bright though.. wonderful.



Here are two pictures we took back at home showing Benjamin's first haircut. We didn't go with a short buzz cut.. just a nice short clean cut.. it looks great and he looks so grown up! We celebrated by also buying him his first pair of real shoes at stride rite.. i'll blog about THAT tomorrow!

So.. we're like normal parents in the 21st Century.. we've made our own baby food, we thought about using cloth diapers, we have a UPromise account set up, we have no fewer than 4 types of strollers, Benjamin's toys have taken over our living room, but 90% of those toys are educational in some way (for example: the hotwheels cars have helped us teach him how NOT to play with the cats)... we believe in a modified CIO (Cry-It-Out) sleep "method", we use terms like "sleep method", we go organic when reasonable, we have him in a bilingual daycare so he understand both english and spanish at just 14 mos old.. He also can use sign language quite well now. We limit his TV time, but he really could care less about TV unless there is some song on.

Which brings me to the topic of the blog. Like many Generation X'ers, we have Guitar Hero III.. and while we rarely have time to play it (i.e. my 8 year old nephew can whoop the pants off of me on expert mode while flying through the air doing twists and flips and i'm just trying to figure out how to get my hand to move to hit the orange button without completely throwing off the rest of the song).

Anyway.. Ben likes it. He can't play it yet, but he likes helping us play it and since we're currently borrowing a friend's earlier version of the game with the PS2 controllers, we have an extra guitar that he can play with when we really want to be able to have a chance at getting through the song.

Here are some pics from last night:

Benjamin and Mamom spent some time at an indoor toddler's play area called "Together in Motion" yesterday afternoon while I was at work. He had an absolute blast and played until he collapsed. It's a wonderful place from what I've heard and Shiela totally thought it was perfect for him. He played and played. Here is a picture of him crawling through a tunnel.

Here are some pics from Ben from January and February of last year ('07).







*Drum Roll*
.... here are pictures of the little man from January and February of THIS year ('08).. what a difference a year makes!

This kid is amazing! I can't imagine what it must feel like to be his parents.. they looked so proud of him. I've watched the performance a few times now and it still gives me chills.

I have to say. I LOVE American Idol. It's Tuesday.. guys night.. 10 guys left...

I missed the first dude.. but I don't think I like him anyway. I had some priorities.. grocery shopping and helping shiela with the big man. my wife is a trooper though.. because she hates this show and is ok with putting ben to bed on idol nights..

So Luke Menard (sp?) just sang a Queen song. This is majorly risky in my opinion because I put Freddy Mercury at the top of the heap when it comes to vocal talent and being the ultimate showman.. I wish he had lived long enough for me to see him in concert. Luke pulled it off... it wasn't Freddy.. but I still think he pulled it off.

Ok.. the drag racer is cute. What's his name? This is why I'm gay.. my taste in men was dangerous at best. Ooooo.. he's singing Hot Blooded.. good choice!I have to say I've got a soft spot for hairy disheveled men.. :) Ok.. he's Robbie.. he's my favorite so far tonite.

Danny N.. my niece loves this kid. I don't see it. He's butchering The Carpenters.

Shiela is still working on getting Ben to bed.. I think he's winning.

Ok.. my laptop is getting too hot for my lap.. you'd think someone would have thought of that. I'm hopefully going to be able to stay awake long enough to see David A.. he's a cutie and is my favorite overall this year..

... shiela just appeared outside Ben's doorway and gave me the international hand symbol for "i'm watching TV in the bedroom". her loss man..

David Hernandez. I can't concentrate on his performances because I can't stop being reminded that Shiela used to date a guy with the same name. I can say that I wish I looked like that in jeans and a tshirt. Ok.. the judges liked him.. i still didn't listen.. i was too busy typing and thinking about how to look like that in jeans.

In other news.. the Byetta thing is going ok. it really kills my appetite, which I have a feeling is the reason why it helps with weight loss. i took the injection and had a small bowl of cereal and feel like i had a huge multi-course dinner with desert. i have a mini carton of haggen daas chocolate ice cream in the freezer and I don't think I can eat it.. how weird is that.

ok.. i'm tired.. i like david cook.. and i'm bugged about the fact that they are saving the young kid for really late in the show.... i need to sleep...

ok.. he's on next.. i can hold on for one more song... *snooze*

Ok...

So aside from the fact that the "reason" that I now have Type 2 Diabetes is because I had gestational diabetes during my pregnancy with Ben and with a certain number of people with GD.. it can turn to Type 2 later in life... this blog has nothing to do with Ben. yeah.. let's ignore the fact that i was fat and insulin resistant for years before project-baby was even in the planning stages.

So now that I'm officially a Diabetic, I'm slowly learning what I need to do and blah blah friggin blah blah. My biggest (hahahaha) concern was the fact that when it hit, i started gaining about a pound a day.. this was horrifying. Capping off at about 250 lbs.. I finally got in to see an endocrinologist who would listen to me and believe me when I said that I wasn't just still holding onto "baby weight".

SOoooooooooooooooooooo... to make a long story short.. I started on Metformin about 6ish months ago and had the dosage increased in um.. I think October. Since then, I've lost 60 lbs. It's like magic. It also helps that while on the Metformin, my blood glucose levels don't get much above 120 regardless of what I eat (although eating high carb things will make me regret it).

Sooooooooooooooooooo... now I'm on a new med. It's called Byetta and it's an injectable. It would be fine.. i'm fine with needles.. i took lord knows how many injections during my infertility treatment days and even more during my gestational diabetes days.. this is just twice a day before meals.. couldn't be easier.. right?

well.. aside from the fact that the friggin pen with the med in it is supposed to stay between the temps of 36 to 46 degrees.. *grit teeth*. Now.. on most days, this is no problem.. i can take it with the rest of my meds when I wake up and am running around getting myself and Ben ready for work/daycare all in about 20 minutes since i'm ALWAYS running late. NOPE!

You have to take it either an hour before taking other meds or three hours after taking other meds. WHAT? ok.. now in the morning I take my metformin, my thyroid med and my.. this is the kicker.. all of my anti-dep/anxiety meds. So now I have to either get up an hour earlier to give myself a shot and eat and then .. well i can't even do the math to make that work. my guess is that i'll end up putting my meds into my pocket and taking them mid-morning at work.. THAT always works so well.

Now this temp thing... if we ate breakfast AND dinner at home and had the time to take the meds within 60 minutes of eating.. fine! no problem! but we tend to like to leave the friggin house once in a while!!!

so i just looked up options for "traveling with diabetes".. i'm not talking getting on a plane to kentucky (hi mom) or texas (hi jaaym).. i'm just talking about going to the mall for a few hours and to a restaurant.. or when the weather gets nice.. going out to the park for the day and possibly getting dinner before going home. *GRUMBLE*

i can't even begin to describe the "protocols" that are listed regarding how to pack and keep the med at the correct temp and blah blah friggin blah. One site even recommends going to Bass Pro's online store (i'm.not.kidding.) to buy some special thermometer to stick in a thermos to make sure you're not over or under cooling your Byetta. F.

The manufacturer offers a free fanny pack. NO FRIGGIN WAY AM I GETTING A FANNY PACK... even if it's free... it doesn't matter.. i'll stay home forever.

How do people with "real" diabetes do it? I'm not sick with it.. my levels are easy to control.. my biggest issue is wanting to lose some more weight.. i didn't know that this would be an aspect of my life that i'd need to buy accessories for.

Meanwhile.. we're not supposed to be anywhere with Benjamin without his "seizure kit" which, at least, doesn't have temperature requirements.. it just takes up half of his diaper bag.

I guess the cool part is that the stuff (Byetta) is made from lizard spit.



I'm. not. kidding. Google it.

Ok.. so it's 10:37 and Benjamin just went down for his morning nap. We breathe a sigh of relief. I sit on the couch in my jammies, deciding to take this opportunity to write in my blog. The fish take this opportunity to swim. The cats take this opportunity to sleep on the clean clothes on Ben's second bed (we have a twin bed in his room too)... lovely.

It snowed last night. I woke up this morning excited.. feeling like a kid again.. we were going to go sledding today! I couldn't wait. My "plan" was that we'd get the big guy up, fed, bundled up and do the same for ourselves and then head to the park. As we all know.. my "plans" never work out the way i have them pictured.. but we're still going to go sledding. My plans were derailed by rain or any other force of nature.. just a busy morning.

CRAYONS

When I get up with Ben before Shiela gets up.. bad things happen. Ben and I tend to "get in trouble" when on our own looking for interesting things to do. Shiela left some paper and crayons on the floor from their colors activity yesterday afternoon and so Ben trucked right over and grabbed a few and proceeded to chew on them and occationally make some lines or dots on the paper i gave him. This type of activity should probably take place in his high chair.. but no.. we colored on the floor.

Meanwhile.. shiela is getting up and ready for the day.

Benjamin begins to show signs that he may be getting hungry (i.e. eating cheerios off the floor and hanging from the tray of his highchair yelling "mamamamamama")

I popped him into his chair and gave him some cheerios and raisins and then went to "cook" him some breakfast. I stirred some milk into his powdered baby oatmeal cereal.. heated it up.. added some applesauce. I really shouldn't be allowed near the microwave (or the toaster oven... but that's a different story). If you nuke baby cereal for too long.. it becomes somewhat of a colloid.. some interesting new type of matter.

While finishing up my masterpiece of a breakfast for my son.. I hear shiela's voice say "uh.. jen?" in that steeled "i can be strong and support this family in a time of crisis" voice. I went to the dining room. Shiela says "um.. he's got something black on the inside of his bottom tooth". Of course.. a 14 month old doesn't just open his mouth and say "ahhhh" when you make this reasonable request.. so we bring the jaws of life out to pry open his mouth so that i can see his tooth. I take one look and say "crayon.." and walk back to the solidifying mass that is my son's breakfast.

PUKE

Ben proceeded to eat about 3/4 of his oatmeal before he gagged and then yacked it back up all over himself.. lovely.

So after cleaning him up and letting him eat a few cheerios off the floor (new cheerios this time.. fresh from being dropped, along with raisins, while i was making his breakfast)... we retired to the living room for some play time.

CONCERT TICKETS

As Ben was playing, I asked Shiela... "so... Billy Joel?".. after a serious battle of money vs fun.. she says "when do they go on sale?". I sent a txt message to Becky.. she calls back just seconds after I hit the send key saying "don't tease me.. are you serious?".. i responded "um.. we think". the tickets went on sale in 15 minutes.. so the race was on.. Shiela put Ben down for his nap while I sat at the computer hitting "reload" on the ticketmaster site waiting for the site to open up for sales for this concert. Once it did.. It was a race against time.. i kept re-entering our info.. 3 tickets, best available, and then the random garbled letters that they use to keep people from using computer programs to auto-dial.. ugh.. i can never read those. after about 100 attempts over 6 minutes.. the show sold out. Luckily.. as soon as it sold out, they opened another show.. so I started shooting for that one and got tickets within a few seconds. whew!

whew!

It may take me a while to get this blog finished, so I'm starting with uploading some pictures that Shiela and I took on our cell phones during our stays in the emergency rooms and Winchester Hospital and Children's Hospital and then during our extra day at Children's. I'll do my best to fill in the details as I have time (and energy).

In short.. Ben had a seizure last Monday, on Feb 4. It started at daycare and continued for close to an hour, which is atypical. He also didn't have a fever when it started. Other than that, all of his tests have come back normal and we have some upcoming tests later this month that we hope will continue to be normal. He may or may not have more seizures.. we just have to wait and see. In the meantime, we've been trained on how to administer meds if he does have a seizure and his daycare has their own seizure kit for him as well. After their quick action and compassion that was shown last week, there is no one that I'd trust with Ben more at this point in time (well.. aside from having him with me or with Shiela.. *laff*)..

ok.. here are the pics and bits of the story in chronological order:


I dropped Benjamin off at daycare Monday morning.. it was just like any other morning. He absolutely LOVES the new baby at daycare and was giving him hugs and kisses before I left. This was the image that I left daycare with:



At about 3:30pm, Shiela called me. She had me on one phone and the daycare on the other phone. The daycare had her on one phone and 911 on the other phone. It was quite chaotic. Our poor daycare provider is bilingual, but she was so freaked out by everything and worried sick over Benjamin that she had her son do the talking on the phone. As soon as I heard Shiela's voice I knew something was going on and it only took seconds to hear the words "hospital" and "ambulance" as I was putting on my coat and grabbing my car keys. Ben was having a seizure. We didn't know more than that. He was being taken by ambulance to Winchester Hospital (i've spent quality time there myself.. they practically know me by name.. sorta like Tim the toolman Tanner.. anyway...). I was off. I stopped in my boss's office long enough to tell him I was leaving and then bolted for the car.

I honestly don't know how fast I drove.. I know I didn't get stopped, I didn't run over any elderly or small children, and I stopped at all of the red lights (at least the ones I noticed). I called my mom on the way and had a mini-breakdown over the phone-- she told me to put both hands on the wheel and call her when i knew something. little did she know that I was probably hitting 60 mph on suburban side streets while on the phone. (i guess she knows now!)

I got to the hospital and flew up the ramp to the front door.. hopping out.. leaving the car running.. yelling at some dude in a Winchester Hospital jacket that I needed it parked. He managed to throw a valet parking ticket at me before I passed him by. He could have been some joe schmoe off the street and would have had a brand new minivan for all I cared at that moment.

I actually arrived at the hospital before the ambulance did. This made no sense to me until I learned this morning from the daycare provider who traveled in the ambulance with him that they stopped a few times on the way to administer different meds or attempt to at least. They could find an IV, so they ended up having to shoot a line into the marrow of his calf bone. That's an image I'm glad I didn't have to see... but it let them get him the meds he needed.

I saw the ambulance drive in and went back to the desk and said "i'm going back.. he's here". she calmly said "yes ma'am.. let me just be sure that this is Benjamin before we go back there". She went into the back and came out two minutes later to buzz me in.

When I got to his ER room, nothing could have prepared me for what it was like to see my little baby surrounded by a doctor and about 8 nurses STILL seizing and being worked on by the medical team. They were going through a protocol to stop the seizure and hadn't had any luck yet. In the end, the seizure lasted at least 45 minutes although I think it was more like an hour. It was a good 20 minutes after I got there when the seizure broke. The tension relief in the room was so significant that you could practically touch it.

Three of the daycare crew were there with me as was a woman I work with to provide support for me until shiela could get there. She was taking a cab from her work and was stuck in traffic.

Ben continued to exhibit some "posturing" for about an hour after he stopped seizing. His legs were stretched out and clamped together with his toes pointed down. His arms were also clamped tight to his body with his fists tight and turned in.

Over the next hour or so, Ben had a CT Scan, a chest x-ray (which showed that he had aspirated some saliva during the seizure) and a lumbar puncture. Unfortunately some of the sedation from the meds they gave him had started to wear off by the time he had his lumbar puncture, so he did scream when they inserted the needle -- but the doctor was actually happy about that.. it meant that he was responsive, which is good.

Once Ben was stable, they arranged for us to be transferred to Children's Hospital in Boston. Ironic, because it is within walking distance from Shiela's work.. and she had just torn across town in a cab to the community hospital only to trek back downtown later that night.

Here is a picture of ben that was taken shortly after the seizure stopped. He had not regained consciousness, but was responsive and his arms and legs had relaxed by this point.



A bit later -- we managed to ditch the oxygen mask (he wouldn't keep it on even though he was barely awake) and he fell asleep waiting for the ambulance to transport us to Children's.



Once we got to Children's, the wait was on. I rode with Ben in the ambulance and Shiela managed to find our car and went home to get some clothes and things for us since we had been warned that we'd likely be there a day or two. We arrived at Children's Hospital ER at about 8PM. By about 1AM, Ben finally fell asleep cuddle with his Mamom on the hospital gurney.. don't they look comfortable?



At about 4AM, Ben had another chest xray (THAT didn't go over well) and we were transfered to a room. Since they normally only allow one parent to stay with the child (like hell they could have gotten either of us to leave).. they said that one of us could sleep with him in the crib. It turned out that the only way he would sleep was either with me in the crib with him:



or while laying on one of us:



The rest of the time, he basically screamed. He was tired, hurting, terrified, confused, etc.. it was horrible given that he was too young to understand any of what was going on. Here is a picture of him during a rare quiet time when he was playing with a car in his crib:



We also took a walk down to the "Activity Room" on our floor and Ben played for a bit with their cars. He liked putting all of the hotwheels little cars into Barbie's big pink VW bug. He tired quickly and we headed back to his room for the remainder of the day.



He finally took a nice nap in his crib by himself while Shiela and I ate dinner (our first meal since the start of all of this.. aside from snagging jello and chocolate ice cream from the floor's kitchen).

The neuro team saw him a few times that day and they tracked his stats all day and decided to discharge him that evening (Tues). We were given a seizure kit with meds to administer if he should have another seizure and he will be having an MRI and an EEG once his brain has had a few weeks to recover. Then we have another consult with the neuro team at Children's and will go from there. Our pediatrician saw him on Thursday night and made us feel relatively confident that the remaining testing will not likely show anything since he has made a full recovery and has not had any more or any different symptoms. We're going with that.

Here is a picture that was taken on Wednesday, the day after we came home. He has his own program on my computer that does ABC's and 123's.. it felt good to be home!



Now that a bit of time has passed (it's a week from when all of this happened), I'm happy to say that Ben continues to improve by the day and seems to be back to his former self, both in spirit and in mobility/development. We have some testing ahead and he still has to get tubes in his ears.. but we'll take it one day at a time. Right now, it's 5pm and I'm ready to go pick the big guy up from daycare!

Our beautiful BABY is growing up:

Our days of him being happy while confined in "baby equipment" are over:




Ben took his first steps while at my dad's house on Christmas Night. It was out of the blue.. he had been walking around while holding onto our hands for a few months, but absolutely refused to go out on his own even if we dangled dangerous items like plastic bags, sissors and lit candles in front of him. On Christmas.. he just walked.. 4-6 steps.. just like that.. just like he had been doing it for months.

About two weeks ago, I was on a business trip. When I called Shiela to say that we were wrapping things up and that I'd definitely be home that night.. Ben decided to crawl across the room. Shiela said, and I quote, "holy crap, Jen.. he just crawled!"

It took him another week or so to master the task, but he is currently 100% on the move. He is crawling like he has been doing it for months.. sitting up from a crawling position like it's nothing.. pulling himself up to a standing position with the greatest of ease.. and let me tell you.. the cats are NOT happy. Nanook is traumatized enough by the safety gates that he can't jump over without knocking them down (long story).. and Ty absolutely REFUSES to be dominated by another male in this family (Nanook being #1).. so we have several face-offs as Ben chases the cats around.

Last night.. in a fit of being overwhelmed after my darling son had pulled on the wires of the NICU fish tank (another long story) and then attacked the vacuum (even after I turned it on to "scare" him) and then got stuck under the high chair bonking his head while trying to sit up and screaming his head off... i lost it. and like any halfway sane mother.. i whipped out the pack and play. I put that sucker together in no time flat... well.. more like 15 minutes.. because the damned sides wouldn't click into place and the legs kept on splaying out like Bambi on an iced over pond and whenever I was close Ben would crawl over and stick his fingers under it and scream, even though it wasn't touching him. I finally got the structure built.. sweating.. and Shiela gets home from work and says something to the effect of "wow.. it looks like something exploded in here".

it. was. me.

Ben, at this point, was sitting quietly smiling while playing with some of his cars.

and it starts....

So ok.. for any of you who know me.. you also know that I've had an irrational fear of the telephone from birth. I think my mother must have tied me to my highchair with the old 30 food spiral phone cords or something when i was an infant, because I can think of no other good reason why picking up a phone to call someone or to answer an incoming call triggers panic. You'd think I had to use the phone to fight off a bear or something. Anyway.. caller ID has helped with that.. at least I know who is calling before i press the dreaded "send" button (that irritates me.. why can't cell phones just say "talk" like home phones.. when I'm answer a call.. "send" makes no sense.. unless it's that I'm trying to avoid the call, which is the norm for me).

AN example.. I called my psychologist today to schedule an appointment (i.e. I called him saying "god ken, please find a way to fit me in before my appointment Thursday, I can't wait that long!").. when he called me back.. it showed up on the caller ID who it was... what did I do? i let it go to voice mail. it's my friggin PSYCHOLOGIST! he knows I do this too, which makes it all the more ironic.

Anyway.. on the topic of cell phones. just because I hate talking on the phone.. hate ordering pizza over the phone.. hate having the ringer go off and have to check the caller ID to make that dreaded decision of what to do with the "send" button..

just because of all that doesn't mean I don't NEED the top of the line cell phone on the market. And even then.. it doesn't mean that I don't find fault in that cell phone and get it replace twice because of a hissing in the ear piece that no one but me can hear. And even then.. it doesn't mean that I don't lose the darned thing at least once every other day (last summer i lost one under my desk at work and filed a police report... i'm. not. kidding.)

so i was checking our wireless account online today and found out that shiela and i are both due for phone upgrades THIS THURSDAY. this was like finding out that we get a second shot at Christmas morning in late January. My fingers fly over the keyboard as I search the new range of cellular telephony, "smart" phones.. and some sort of fruit (blackberries) that are available now. While I know that the one I WANT... the one that's been advertised to people like me every 10 minutes on every channel known to man.. is too expensive (shiela told me that because she already had checked it).. I quickly find a suitable alternative.

BUT.. it turns out that the new phones offer all sorts of new features.. and those features have to either be activated on your current plan, or you need to upgrade your plan. So i whip out Excel (as much as anyone can "whip out" a program on a computer) so I can start comparing our current plan with the upgrades that I NEED for the phone that I MUST HAVE... THURSDAY.

I realize that I have to prepare a finely tuned presentation for my wife, who is the holder of the checkbook (because I can NOT be trusted around technology stores) to convince her that our very safety and the security of our son absolutely DEPENDS on us upgrading our phones (and adding the navigation feature that "my phone" has).

All this... so that I can forget to charge it and lose it constantly. My mother doesn't even try to call my phone.. she calls shiela because she knows she'll get someone on the line.

As an aside.. much like email.. i LOVE txt messaging.. it's like calling on the phone without having to talk.. a MUST for a closet-case agoraphobic. (that's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one)

So I have a thing against "new years resolutions".. mainly because they are set up to fail from the start and nothing like putting undue pressure on yourself right as we enter the dreariest part of the year. It's 5 degrees outside.. I don't give a damn about "I'm going to walk at least a mile a day"... no friggin way. I'm going to get in my nice heated car and drive up the hill to pick up my beautiful toddler and rush back into the car to drive home. The most exercise I plan to get today involves walking up the stairs to our apartment.

Ok.. so that aside.. my "non-resolution" this year is to write a blog a day. I thought it would be #1: fun, #2: cathartic and #3: a great way to look back on time that seems to be flying by so quickly.

Well.. it turns out that time is flying by so quickly that it is currently January 21st and this is the first time I've blogged this year. I think I have to work on that.