Ok.. so I occasionally (hey shiela.. look.. i spelled it right!).. have aspirations of being a super-mom. See below.



Sometimes.. just sometimes. I get it REALLY wrong.

Last night was one example. Ben went to bed at 7:50pm. At 8pm, Shiela and I started watching the two consecutive episodes of Ghost Hunters that comes on SciFi every Wednesday night. We look forward to this. We buy Ben&Jerry's ice cream. We invite these 21st century "Ghostbusters" into our home for a cheap scare. It's sort of like watching the antiques roadshow.

Case A. - Antiques roadshow. A mid-50's homemaker comes in with a stool that has been passed down for thousands of years in her family that can be traced back to Jesus himself. She waits in anxious anticipation for the antiques "expert" to discuss the "piece" and give the.. *gasp*.. anticipated price that the "piece" would go for at auction. When the "expert" says "well.. if your great grand father hadn't fixed the leg.. it would be work $4 billion dollars.. but since it was fixed, I would estimate that you could receive as much as $4.50 at auction..." The homemaker has a classic "doh..." expression on her face. You know.. you've seen it.

Case B. - Ghost Hunters. A family with children call the team to investigate the paranormal experiences that they have been having in their home. One child has claimed to see a ghost-child with black eyes, nose and mouth and squiggly black arms staring him down in his playroom. The TVs turn on and off. The toys turn themselves on in the middle of the night. The father saw a shadow of a boy in the dark hallway outside his room. Scary shit.. right? The TAPS team sets up their equipment and investigates. At the "reveal" (that's what they call it when they sit down with the homeowner to go over their findings).. the tell the trashy looking mother that they found zip.. nada.. no ghost. No strange EVP recordings (yes.. we watch this show far too often).. nothing. Sucks to be you man.. you're on national cable tv and they just debunked your house. The homemaker has a classic "doh..." expression on her face.

Ok.. now that I've set the scene.. let's talk about how my mother-of-the-year aspirations were flushed down the proverbial toilet last night.

Ben takes longer than usual to fall asleep. After he threw all of his binkies (yes.. i said "all") and his "guys" (stuffed animals) and his blankets out of his crib.. and then started yelling "uh oh..." at the top of his lungs for the oh.. third or forth time in ten minutes. We decided that he probably would like some milk.

I go and get him.. bring him into the living room where the rocking chair now lives.. and he downs a tippy of nice cold milk. He hands it back to me. I'm watching the show. I had a fleeting thought of "SciFi probably isn't appropriate for him.. but it's at the end of the show and they found nothing.. so it's not like there will be screaming or anything". Well.. Ben put one arm over his eyes and used the other to wave around spastically trying to convey the fact that he DID NOT want to watch mommys' show. It still didn't sink in. Shiela says.. "uh.. i think he doesn't like it". lord. well duh.. of course he doesn't like it.. the only tv he watches is Thomas the Tank Engine, Seseme Street and various shows on Sprout.. no friggin SciFi channel! Definitely not Ghost Hunters!

Luckily it didn't seem to sink in at all and when I put him back in his crib he smiled and grabbed a few binkies and turned right over. What a good kid. I'm trying my best not to ruin him.

As an aside.. this picture was leaked to the press, officially eliminating me from the Mother-of-the-Year running..