So it's official. As of July 1, I've changed my schedule at work to a part time basis. I'll be working a 4 day work week at 8 hours a day. It was a tough decision because part of me feels like our family needs two full-time working moms.. especially given our dreams of owning a home and keeping food on the table and in the cat dishes.

I'm not going to break my "i don't talk about work" rule, so I'll be very general. If you want details.. you must email me! Anyway.. the bottom line is that my moral has been below ground for the last year+. I'd say that about 90% of the time the thought of changing careers or quitting and getting a job at Jiffy Lube or committing some white collar crime to get into the same prison that Martha Stewart made homemade jam at would be fun. (that was a long and incredibly grammatically incorrect sentence.) I feel like I spent my days wishing the time away so that I can be with my family again and then I'm so stressed and exhausted by the time I'm home with my family, I find myself wishing for it to be time for bed. This isn't healthy. I then feel guilty for never feeling like I can get enough time for my son or for my wife.

The weekends are this joyous oasis that I wait all week for... and without fail, I end up "ruining" my Sundays because i'm so stressed about going back to work on Monday. As a result, I really feel like I've been drowning and that's not in line with what I want for my life or how I logically feel about how things are.

I like what I do (for work).. There are other fields that interest me -- but I truly enjoy my current work and almost all of the people that I work with. I haven't enjoyed what I do (for work) for too long now.

SOoooooooooo... part time. It's a financial hit.. but Shiela and I agree that quality of life is more important than HBO and some of the other frills we've been indulging in (like gas for the car). The next 6 months will be tough financially and it means that we'll have to scale back on just about everything.

The goal? A happy Jen. A happy Jen makes for a happy Shiela and a happy son and two happy cats and 7 happy fish. A happy Jen makes for a Jen that wakes up looking forward to going to work again and doesn't resent the hell out of every piece of paper in my office and every client phone call because dammit-- it just seems like a stupid reason to be away from my son.

We'll see. If this results in an increase of stress, then I'll take my salary back and do my best to make it work.. but I'm hoping that it will be a turning point.