Rarely is this man on my mind.. but for some reason, all I can hear today is his version of "Always on my mind" which I happen to think is a brilliant song and a brilliant arrangement, especially from such a scruffy dude who obviously has lost a few brain cells along the way..

I didn't take my anxiety med this morning. I totally forgot. It has been interesting to experience a "normal day at work" without the "chill pill". I've been surprisingly not overwhelmed, but I have found myself saying "it's just chemical" when I start to feel a bit wiggy. Part of this is that I'm completely addicted to this particular medication. This isn't an epiphany or a major "coming out" moment. The med is highly physically addictive and anyone who takes more than a few of them would experience physical withdrawal symptoms (feels like the flu on acid). My ability to deal with real-world stresses is totally fogged. Anyway.. I've been saying that I want to lower my dosage on this stuff for months.. I just always seem to find a reason to say "maybe next week". Maybe I'm more like Willie Nelson than I thought.. :)

ok... real reason for post this.. (can you tell that I get a bit absentminded when my anxiety level is over the red line?)...

is this adorably cute picture of Benjamin:



It was taken on Saturday during a brief moment of "I'm not feeling so bad" when we went to the park to get some fresh air. Unfortunately.. the clouds arrived at the same time.. but they really did set off the red in his hair in that picture, eh?

Second thing on my mind right now is that I think American Idol should just quit while they are ahead and name David Cook the next winner. Even if he doesn't win, I think he's the only one on the show with a true future in pop music. David A. might have a chance, but I'd have to see him when he's in his mid-20's and without the leather pants that he was sporting last night. Jason Castro.. love him.. would listen to him play all night long at a beach party or coffee house.. but we need to snip the dreads. The rest of them? blech.

Here is his performance from last night:


At the time, I liked it.. but I can't say that I LOVED it. I have to agree with a friend though.. I think our sugar levels might have been low or something or we hadn't recovered from watching cowgirl sing because he sounded better on youtube than i thought he did last night. He can rock out with his.... um.. well.. i'm going to stop there.. any Ben Folds fan's out there know where I was going with that one.

Hope yer all well and that you can form a coherant thought. I'm going to bail early and go pick up my beautiful son and give him a HUGE hug.