Wait.. what... we're gay? you're friggin kidding!

I got an interesting random message from a reader who commented that he/she was surprised that my blog wasn't more about gay parenting. It struck me as highly interesting and a bit funny and probably says a LOT about who I am and what our family dynamic is.

I don't think of myself as a gay parent. I think of myself as a parent. I don't think of my wife as a gay parent, or as a "second mother".. I think of her as a parent. We're both mom's. We both love Benjamin equally or would be willing to arm wrestle over the issue. We are both legal parents.. but that's really just a formality. We were together in this from the start.. we were both there during conception (along with a very nice doctor with a HUGE mustache).. were both there through the pregnancy.. were both there through the rocky end of the pregnancy and the birth of our little guy. If anything, I think Shiela has had to deal with more stress from the experience of trying to become, becoming, and being a parent because she's had to deal with me too... and i'm a handful. Dealing with a woman duped up on fertility meds comes in neck to neck with dealing with a cranky pregnant woman.. and was one-up'd by caring for an infant and a mother with post partum depression.

We're parents. We forget that we're "gay". We are lucky in that we live in an area of the country where no one gets confused by the fact that we're both his mom and no one does double-takes when they hear us refer to each other as his moms or if they see us out doing crazy things like having dinner together at a family restaurant.

My blog isn't about being a gay parent.. because in all honesty.. there really isn't anything to talk about. The rollercoaster leading up to becoming a parent has some elements in it that obviously relate to us being in a same-sex relationship.. but since conception, the topic doesn't really come up.

If you have any questions about it.. shoot away (but be nice of course).. but it really doesn't make the top twelve things that define our family unit... so I can't guarantee an interesting answer.

As an aside.. all of that doesn't mean that we hide that we're gay or anything like that. we're out and proud man.. we both own leathermans and have a sears bright red toolbox will all of the accessories. we own our own softball mitts and know how to use them.

to quote my friend's kids.. "that's baby's mom".. "that's baby's other mom"..

Edited to add: I do admit that it is a bit ironic given that the title of the blog is "two moms and a baby".. so no comments from the peanut gallery!

Most of my friends are readers. I'm a reader. There is a big difference though. My preference in reading is pure fluff. I read as an escape from my day to day thoughts.. I read to NOT think. While I believe that I'm a fairly bright person.. I can hold my own at a game of dirty-word scrabble.. I typically don't choose to read books that tax me in any way. The same goes for movies.. the more explosions the better and the closer we get to catastrophe with a happy ending that is completely implausible.. the better.

I think that the only person I could join a book club with (it seems to be the current rage with 30-somethings) would be my mom.

Anyway.. Shiela got a shipment of new books from amazon the other day.. she was so excited she left her shoes right on the floor (*gasp*) and dropped her keys in the amazon box only to take hours to find them the next day. I was in Ben's room changing him into his PJs when she came hustling in saying "1500 pages..." in a pitch that was several octaves higher than her fundamental speech frequencies. She was so excited.. her eyes were wide open and bright and she kept saying "fifteen hundred.. i can't wait". I finally managed to pull it out of her that she was talking about War and Peace.

SO.. i took a photo of her latest "finds".. making note to put her in touch with whatacard's local used bookstore.



Then I pulled out the paperbacks that I've been getting ready to read including a new one that I borrowed from my mom when I was in KY.



It's a good thing opposites attract.. *laff* (and yes.. that is a cat foot)

Last weekend we decided that it was time for Ben to join us at the dining room table for dinners. The high chair is huge and we don't have a routine of having dinner together.. we'll feed him.. then get something for ourselves after he goes to bed. We decided to order a pizza.

Here is a pic of Ben helping to set the table. We have his travel booster seat set up on one of the dining table chairs.



As tradition calls for.. we marked this occasion with a "self-portrait"



Dinner began in a very clean and civilized manner. Benjamin eating small pieces of cut up pizza from his plate.





At some point.. the boy got his hands on the remainder of his piece of pizza.. things became less controlled...



In the end.. it was a very enjoyable and relaxing dinner. Ben had pizza from ear to ear and chin to forehead and beyond.. but we took our time and he had a peas and carrots chaser. I wish I could say that we do this every night.. but even if we just manage it once a week at this point.. I'll be happy.