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Check out my first blog posting over at Skirt!

I thought I'd jump right in.. *laff* I'm determined to make waves over there! This is what they get for labeling ME a trendsetter!

Virtually "pain free" hair removal...

This definitely qualifies as TMI:

Let me set the stage.

I am Italian and Irish. All of my hair follicles are Italian and all of my skin cells are Irish. I also have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which causes lots of fun hormonal crap like infertility, weight gain and.. yes.. male-pattern hair growth. As a result, I have spent all of my adult life struggling with the topic of hair removal and self-esteem.

When I was younger, I was very self-conscious about my image. How gross was it that I could grow more facial hair than most 18 year old boys. I would take hour-long showers which would include shaving just about every inch of my body.

To complicate matters further, I have just about THE MOST sensitive skin out there. If I walk down a perfume aisle, my skin will break out in a rash (and I’ll have an asthma attack). I can only use certain soaps and one wrong move in the shaving department would leave me with little cute patterns of razor burn all over my body.

Tack on the weight gain associated with PCOS and I had a rough time during my teenage years!

Fast-forward. I’m now 34 years old and happily married. I have a 2 year old beautiful son. I am completely content with my follicular status. The solution? The product that saved my self esteem?

Hate to burst your bubble, ladies, but for me.. it was just a matter of growing up and becoming comfortable with myself. No magical cream or little gadget that painlessly removed all of the hair forever.

Now.. that said, just because I’m comfortable with myself doesn’t mean I still don’t try every product and procedure under the sun. I’ve tried every chemical ever labeled for sensitive skin hair removal (translation: it removes the skin and leaves the hair) and have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on needles and lasers and weed-wackers, oh my!

So.. as the self-proclaimed expert on the subject.. do I still spend an hour a day in the shower? Heck no! I have a toddler.. I’m lucky if I snag 10 minutes to myself. I usually have the shower curtain thrown back about 7 minutes into it by a little red headed dude who hands me my glasses and says “mommy, all done”.

To be honest, I seem to have become a bit bi-polar when it comes to hair removal. It’s currently mid-winter and we’re broke. As a result, I haven’t shaved south of the equator for close to three months and I’m starting to resemble something off of the Discovery Channel. I really could care less, aside from the fact that my hair is so thick that it occasionally makes my skin hurt from rubbing against my pants. Also.. I don’t wear skirts.. that’s key.

Like I said though.. I tend to go through mood swings. When I’m not on shaving strike, I tend to go to extremes.

wax.jpg



I’ve become a huge fan of waxing. It feels strikingly like sticking your arm in a wood chipper, but the results are fantastic. It’s also great for releasing tension after a long week at work. I’m not sure what it says about your life when going in for a waxing session sounds relaxing. I’ll blog about that another time!

Now. Leg waxing isn’t a big deal. Ripping out hair in huge chunks is never pleasant, but after the first few strips, you start to lose consciousness and it doesn’t seem to hurt as badly. There are a few areas that really hurt. For me, it’s the front of my calves and the backs of my ankles and from the knee up.

Oh, I’m just kidding.. go try it, you’ll love it. No.. seriously. It’s horrible.. but I do have some advice. Don’t go cheap. DO NOT DO IT YOURSELF. I don’t care how simple and painless those TV infomercials make it look.. spring for a trip to the spa.. and not just a trip to the spa.. a trip to an EXPENSIVE spa. I’ve tried it both ways and the experience at a real spa can not compare to having a cheap wax job done by a hair dresser with a wax melter who knows how to use it. If you go cheap, prepare to wear long slacks for at least two weeks while your legs heal from all of the bruises and ingrown hairs that you’ll get... you’ll be able to put those shorts on just in time for your leg hair to start growing back! Think “She-she-poo-poo”...

Ok.. now, I think the reason why I downplay the amount of pain caused by a full leg wax is because I’ve also started getting bikini waxes. Not just regular bikini waxes, but Brazilian bikini waxes. Those Brazilians sure are wacky! I’m not sure of the history of it all or why those folks from south of the equator get the credit for the ultimate hair removal for “south of the border”.. but it’s like the Mount Everest of hair removal. It may kill you.. but it’s the best thing ever.

Once again.. if you’re going to attempt this.. remember my words about the expensive spa. No trying to do this at home kiddos. If you’re worried about the embarrassment factor.. well.. think of it like sky-diving.. once you take the plunge.. it’s all out there and you’re in a free fall and there is no going back.

The good news is that, once you’re off the IV fluids and morphine drip, you’ll feel like a million bucks. Even if you’re the only one who knows about it (aside from your new best friend at the spa), guaranteed you’ll feel like hot stuff..

- Jen (Two Moms and a Baby)

Blog away sister....

I haven't given you a mouse update in a bit.

I hired an exterminator, right. He came by last night. He actually laughed when I said the cat brought a mouse in my room TWICE- I'm thinking - yeah no kidding.

Wait- maybe I should back up. Wednesday- 5am- I hear this crazy meowing and scuffling in the kitchen (oh no oh no oh no)....Oh YES. He brings it in my room- drops it on the floor- it's dazed enough that he grabs it again and goes into the kitchen. I shut my door and listen to national geographic in the hallway.
Thinking ok I am not dealing with this - until I hear Ashley get up (I cannot believe this)...

So fast-forward- he kills it but doesn't destroy it. So- I pick it up and get rid of it.

Ok- so exterminator guy comes last night- sets traps inside and out. Plans on coming back Tuesday to check traps- he found a hole in the hatchway door and plugged it too (I pray that's the only way they are coming in).

Now- it's 11pm or something like that last night- Amy comes home talks to me for a bit then gets ready for bed. Now picture this...I am reading in bed...it's quiet. I hear her downstairs. All of a sudden I hear a yelp and some .....I can't even describe the noise (I am sitting here at my desk LAUGHING at loud as I type- these people think I am nuts) and I hear running- and "ohmygodohmygodohmygod"....

.......Oops- I forgot to tell her the exterminator came. (still laughing)...

She gets IN to my bed....LOL-

"beckthere'samouseinatrapbytherefridgeratoritsagluetrap
ohmygodohmygodit'salivethreefeeton,oneoffohmygodohmygodohmygod."

I am crying I am laughing so hard...the cat is walking around now trying to figure out what's up.

So Amy says to me-the kid's at jay's? yes. ok, I'm sleeping upstairs.

..haha

Fast-forward again. this morning.
She says to me- We have to get rid of the mouse in the trap....and then puts her finger on her nose slowly (GRRR). You know- that hole "nose goes"....someone says this has to be done and then everyone puts their finger on their nose and the last one to do it has to do whatever the thing is...Ok- it's something Amy did once and then the kids got a huge kick out of it and we've been doing it since Christmas.

Whatever gets you through the day right.

Anyway- we go downstairs together- both peering around the fridge. It's there- and it's dead...Well I can get rid of that. So I ask her- because now the cat is with us so I gotta hurry- can you get me a bag? So I am talking about anything to get my mind out of picking this disgusting trap up. and I put it in the bag- BUT the glue catches on the side of the bag- so the trap is teetering on the edge of the bag.

OH NO....so I yell get another bag get another bag. So she goes and gets one and we are laughing. Then...
as she's giving me the bag...

the glue lets go and the trap falls fully into the bag.. We both scream. Yes that's right....If they could have a candid camera in my house- this whole exchange would win awards- I swear it would.

Unbelievable....

one down (well two if you count the one zeke caught)...this guy is worth every penny I am telling you. I have traps set for weeks and weeks- his are set for a couple of hours and wam (well not literally- although I did think I heard a snap or two in the middle of the night- I might be a bit paranoid though...).

2 down...how many can their be (the thought of that terrifies me)....

Maybe I can get rid of the mice just before tick season starts again...

(glass half full, glass half full)....

While we were waiting for the surgical coordinator at Ben's ENT appointment today, he was all set up in the waiting room with an elmo toy across his lap. he was jabbering away and pointing at the various buttons and switches (all that didn't work because the batteries had long since been depleted). Our conversation went something like this:

Ben points to red button
Me: "that's red"
Ben: "re"
Me: "yep.. red"
Ben points to green button
Me: "that's green"
Ben: "yeah.."
Me: "yep.. green"

Then Ben turns and looks at me with those big blue eyes and his curly red hair was all crazy half from bed-hair and half from his winter hat and he says to me:

"Mommy, I like lellow"

Clear as day.

The woman sitting across the room smiled politely and commented about how cute he was. I was still trying to not cry over the fact that he just told me that he likes lellow. Then the woman says, "How old is he." I respond, "just turned two." Then she asks, "When did he start talking?" I respond, "this past weekend."

She nosed her Dunkin' Donuts Coffee. I laughed and said "I'm serious.. before that he was saying "yeah", "no", "mama" and "all done".. now all of a sudden he's talking in sentences!"

She laughed and said "Thank god.. there is hope for my son.. he's almost two and just screams "no" and "all done". Yep... been there.

Then.. just to show her that a child doesn't change completely over a weekend, Ben grabs my arm to get my attention and says "lellow!" and then proceeds to throw a total fit over the fact that the elmo toy has no lellow buttons.

I'm going to write to the folks at Seseme Street.. how could they skip lellow?

Well.. while it may not seem like it, I HAVE been up to things other than updating the colors on my blog and playing Guitar Hero World Tour. I *HAVE* been a bit of a space cadet though.. so I haven't really been sharing many blog bonding moments with you all.

First of all.. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dan! We had a great time spending Christmas Eve and morning with you guys and hope we can do it again sometime. Maybe someday, we'll actually have a room for you and you won't have to camp out in the back yard!

Other stuff.. Benji has spent most of the holiday break from school either being sick with an ear infection (flared up on Christmas Day) or with a rogue virus or two. He also is on a sleep strike. I'm sure that it's because our daytime schedule is out of wack with him not having been to school for two weeks. I totally feel for his daycare providers next week.. he's going to be a bear! The good news is that his development seems to have made a huge jump.. maybe it was all the birthday cake!

He's saying all sorts of words now (like "stupid", "hola", "ru" (Ruth), "Mommy" (instead of just MaMa), "I eat it", "no nemo", "nemo no", "no nemo no", "nemo no nemo" (catching a trend?) and lots of "ohhh noooooo's".. very dramatic.

I'm doing well.. no major complaints. I've decided to go back to work full time. It is a tough pill to swallow, but given the economy and the fact that things were already really tight.. well.. I want to keep ahead of the gang. This coming Monday will be my first time back in about six months.. I should be one cranky mom on Sunday.. watch out!

The other mom is doing well.. she's tired. Two weeks of vacation will do that to you.

Oh well.. I had planned on sharing a few pics from my fancy dancy new camera, but I didn't bring the cable and my card reader can't handle the high capacity card.. doh.. so I'll have to do that later. I also have more things to finish with the blog layout (there's a surprise).. given that my home computers are crap, i may pull an all nighter with some system install and norton disks.. fun fun fun! That's how I roll...

I have to save this horrible decision for future laughs... here is a screen shot of my pretty flowers...